"To Slow Play or not to ..."

To slow play or not to slow play, that is the question? "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to sufferThe slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" Shakespeare I am definitely not, but when it comes to slow play I now have a very strong opinion - "NEVER freaking Slow Play!"

The great poker gods bestowed me yesterday afternoon with a Party Poker cap and $100 in my account for which to gamble. I quit playing Party Poker for I disagree with Iggy in that for me it is the home of suck outs and predictable endings. Who can laugh a gift horse in the eyes, so I set out to win some money.

I was in the big blind and limped in holding A2o (Limit Holdem $.5/1). The flop brings 228. I check! Everyone checks around! Turn brings a flush draw! I bet! The world calls my bet! The river is the destined diamond! I bet! I get raised! I reluctantly call knowing that I will see the diamond flush. Perhaps this calling station would have stayed to the river no matter what move I make, but from now on I am making the move.

Very next hand in the small blind I have Q8o. I limp in for another quarter. The flop brings me a queen. I bet out! Numerous callers! Turn brings an 8! I bet again! Two callers! River brings a flush possibility. I lose! I am down $12!

In the course of two hours I tried my luck at Omaha H/L. My set of aces do not fill and I lose a huge pot to a straight. I am down another $12.

I decide to play Seven stud H/L. I fill a Jack high straight on the turn. I lose to a flush! I am down another $15. "Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow." Perhaps I should stop playing poker and indulge in the words of Shakespeare.

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes." I put the kids to bed and continue playing Limit Holdem. Was winning for awhile, but then I started hoping and praying for the nut flushes on the river. Oh well the bottom line is that I lost half of my found money and played 170 hands. The promotion requires me to play 500 hands. Will I lose the bankrolll before I get there or shall my fortunes turn.

"I go, and it is done; the bell invites me. Hear it not, Duncan, for it is a knell That summons thee to heaven or to hell."

New bumper sticker in development - "Don't Slow Play"

Play on

“Tournament Results”

First of all I would like to give a huge thanks to the Degenerate Gambler, Mr. B, for hosting a very well run tournament.

Somehow my wife gave me permission to go play in a poker tournament this Saturday night. A couple of things attracted me to the tournament.

I had been reading Mr. B’s blog and he is a Longhorn fan (bonus)!
I want to test my poker skills against total strangers (i.e. – How bad are my tells?)
I wanted to meet other Austin poker players and bloggers

I anticipated my pit stop to HEB and drive time to be around 35 minutes. Of course purchasing my Guinness took longer than expected. Then I hit every freakin traffic light along the way. The only saving grace to the drive was a lengthy rendition of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s, FreeBird, which I blasted in the minivan (poor speakers). I knew I was in for a good night. I left the house at 7:00 PM and arrived at Mr. B’s house at 7:45 PM. Oh yeah! I got quarter of the way to HEB and remembered that the tournament required cash and a chair, so I sped home to get a chair. Note to self – next time leave the fold up lawn chair at home and take a card table chair.

Of course when I arrived I did not know a soul. I had assistance and quickly located Mr. B. We made our introductions in the kitchen and he gladly accepted my $20 entry fee. The amount of the entry fee was also a huge plus. I get invited to numerous tournaments that are a $50 plus buy-in, which eats up almost my entire monthly allowance, especially adding in beer and munchies. A $20 buy-in I believe is perfect in that it does not create tension and permits for a fun poker environment. I was also introduced to DeadMoney, Inc. I think it is really cool to meet other local bloggers. It was a pleasure meeting Mr. S and congratulations on your new home! Next year I believe we will be cheering for Mr. S at the WSOP!

OK there were 28 players, so 4 tables were created! How I do not know, but Mr. B managed to create 4 tables. I think there was a table in every room! Man I am glad the bathrooms were not big enough for tables. Hee – Hee! The one thing that was strange was that it seemed like very few people were drinking. I was definitely going to have a Guinness fueled experience. Perhaps everyone takes their poker very serious and drinking was not an option. I did greatly appreciate the fact that apparently smoking was not permitted within the house.

The first table for me had 7 players, consisting of Mr. C, Mr. T, myself, Mr. R, Mrs. J, Mr. J, and Mr. R. As the cards were dealt I did not have a clue with respect to anyone’s style or skill level. Mrs. J confused me in that early she appeared to be a calling station, then she became a rock. Mr. J would routinely raise if he was going to be involved in a pot. Mr. R seemed to like Queens. Things were status quo with me losing some and winning some. I did let some decent hands go to good raises. Since “the hammer” seems to be the rage, I started a conversation about how I would not play the hammer unless perhaps I limp in on the big blind. Luck would have it that Mr. J during the conversation makes a huge raise and wins with “the hammer”. For my sole reader, Dad, the hammer is 72. While at this table I did miss play one hand really really bad. I was in a late position and I look at my cards to see two beautiful cowboys. I had cowboys earlier and I am pretty sure they were cracked when an ace it the board on the flop. I actually mucked the cowboys after the ace hit the board. Well this time I call a couple of decent raises. There was a couple hundred in the pot. The flop comes 44K, giving me the nut boat. Mr. T, on my right, makes a raise of $60. My bonehead move was to go all-in. Of course everyone folded, even though Mr. T debated for a moment. Hind site I that I should have called. Perhaps Mr. T had pocket aces and I would have been burned on the river.

Our table was sacrificed and I was moved to another table. I believe we are down to 16 players from 28. I do not recall any major hands at the second table. I believe I just played like a dead rock through this session and watched folks get eliminated. On the other table there was a huge controversy. There was a guy at the table who had just knocked out two players on a hand. After the hand he declared that he had to leave. Let’s just say this pissed a couple of people off. His chips were removed from the game and play continued amongst grumbling. One player thought he should be dealt back in with the stack he had prior to this move. Although leaving was totally screwed up, I did not think players should be allowed back in the game.

Shortly there after we were down to the final table. I drew the button and I believe at the time I was the short stack or at least competing for it. I only recall a couple of hands and some generalities. First I will mention the generalities. I did not get any cards worth a flip most of the time. Getting 92, T4, and 23 is not very fun at all. When I did get decent cards AQs, AJo, and JTs, there was always an all-in move or huge raise. I ended up donating the Big Blind and small blind numerous times. I did try to defend once with a marginal hand only to get re-raised a large sum.

Here is the hand that put me back in to the game. I will say that I was a lucky SOB. Getting no cards and my stack dwindling to less than $2K, I look down to see A9s. Of course it was the ace of spades and I went all-in. Mr. T who was at my original table had built up a healthy stack immediately called my all-in. Crap! I turn over my marginal hand and he turns over pocket kings. Yes on the river I catch my miracle ace and double up. Fortunately for me the person who I pegged as the best player, Mr. S, did not catch any cards. He was eliminated in a race. I decided to be extremely patient. Soon we were down to 5 persons, which put me in the money. I had promised my son a Super Soaker if I had won, which meant that I would have to give our daughter an equal amount. I did not want to finish fifth. I did catch some decent cards and held my own, but I was still having to donate my BB way to much too all-in moves. I think this led to a slight advantage for me in that I was able to win 4 or 5 hands by going all-in with nothing. Once I won a decent pot with T2o.

Mr. R was a solid player. He is the one that I believe liked to play Qx. If he was in the pot with a queen on the board, I felt like he had a pair of queens. I could never take advantage of this, but I think my instinct was correct. He got knocked out 4th by his brother (I think they were brothers). I am in the final three and short stacked compared to the other two. It is 1:30 AM and I had already had to call and wake up my wife. Last time I got home really late she was not happy. I had told her I would be home between midnight and 1:00 AM. Next time I think I will just say 3:00 AM (wink wink). Any rate I had Q9s (spades of course). I like spades! Mr. D had made a decent raise, so I went all-in. Little did I know that all three players would be in the pot, so I had a shot at getting back in it. The flop brought me two spades. I yelled give me a black card. On the turn it was a club. Mr. B, who was dealing, said you got what you asked for you should have been more specific. I yelled give me a black spade. The river was a club. I finished in 3rd place.

It was really cool in that there were two dealers at the final table. I greatly appreciated there efforts. I am not sure who the second dealer was, but I loved his dealer button. It was a small black rat!

Again I would like to that Mr. B for hosting this event. Hopefully I can return and give back some of my winnings. The kids already got a third of it! I did promise! Now my wife wants a piece of the winnings. I think not! She already gets my paycheck. Just kidding honey! Good thing she does not read this blog! I had a great time and met some great people. I apologize to those whom I forgot your names.

The Longhorns gave me a heart attack last night, but they are on to Omaha! Go horns!

Hopefully I will get another blog posted before our vacation. I am really excited to be heading to Scottsdale, where I do play to play live holdem for the first time. I am hoping to play in a tournament, but they have them at odd times that may not fit the family schedule. I do know they are open 24/7, so I can tuck everyone in and head out to the casino. Casino Arizona here I come! I signed up online to be a preferred member, but my tiny back roll will probably not bring me much preference. Hee Hee!

Here is one last note about an online hand. I sat down at a $.05/.10 NL table. There was this dude bragging about how he was up $20. He was playing crazy. I got dealt pocket aces. I raise. He raises back! I go all-in. There also was a third caller, which meant a very nice pot. The flop comes QQx. The bragging fool called my all-in with a Q4o. Lets just say I was not happy getting my aces cracked by that guy! Oh well! I will get him next time!

FYI – My kids tell everyone how much online poker I play. Truth is I have cut down tremendously, but to my point. Since they got a piece of the action, they want me to practice 24/7. (Smile!)

Play on!

“Political Platform”

Besides the legalization of poker in Texas, I have just come up with my second item for my legislative platform. I am totally opposed to computer viruses and spyware. I pledge to prosecute any MF’er who writes and deploys a virus. I pledge to make spyware illegal.

Yes my stupidity has caused me so much grief. Yes I opened and e-mail that was from support@.com. Yes it contained a nasty virus. The virus itself was easy to eradicate; however, there is now a spyware executable on my work computer that I am having one heck of a time removing. I had to delete over 100 records from my registry today. That sure was risky, but the only other alternative is to pave the machine and reinstall. What did I have to lose? I am down to just two issues. Mediatickets.com are MF’ers I would prosecute in a heart beat. The other one is the Delfin project. These are extremely difficult spyware to remove. Eventually I will beat these MF’ers.

One other lesson I learned during this frustration is that many sites attempt to put third party cookies in your browser. I changed my browser settings so that I am prompted for all third party cookies. Unfortunately primary site cookies are a necessary evil.

Microsoft Antispyware got me half the way and Spyware Doctor was the most useful tool. Of course I was too cheap to purchase Spyware Doctor and had to delete everything manually. I might just purchase this tool, because it was pretty thorough. Perhaps they can remove the installer.exe that keeps trying to execute mediatickets.com or get rid of the Delfin project. The best news is that my computer is virus free and I am able to get some valuable work done.

I really do not have much poker to report on. I do want to say “Go Horns”. The men play on Saturday. I cheered my tail off for the Lady Horns. I am watching the women’s World Series as I type. The softball tournament has been pretty exciting.

I am thinking about asking my better half if I can play in a poker tournament on Saturday. It is hosted by a local blogger and I would not know anyone. The buy-in is reasonable and no rebuys. Really sounds like my kind of tournament and fun. I am going to send him an e-mail and get more detail.

All you MF’ers out there who develop viruses and nasty spyware BEWARE! With my legislative amendments we will hunt you down like the moles that you are.

Hopefully some poker this weekend!

Play on!