“A Blonde Moment”

It is 4:46 AM. In theory I should be in a hotel room sound asleep. I had a flight scheduled to leave for Cincinnati Ohio yesterday at 3:40 PM. A co-worker picks me up at 2:00 PM to get to the airport. It was a smooth ride in a brand new Nissan Titan V8. We park in the park and ride. The shuttle bus takes us to the terminal. I get out of the shuttle bus only to realize that I do not have my wallet. Holy shit! Let me tell everyone very clearly you can not do shit without some sort of ID at an International Airport.

I rescheduled my flight for 6:05 AM this morning. There were no other flights last night permitting someone to bring me my wallet. The really sad part is I knew right where my wallet was. I was hungry so I went to Jack in the Box for a sandwich. I paid for the sandwich and left the wallet sitting on the front passenger seat of the car. Damn! Definitely a blond moment!

Here were my options:

1. Take a taxi home and get my wallet then fly out later. Not!
2. Have my wife bring me my wallet. Not! She was 45 minutes from the house.
3. Just take a taxi home or to my office. Not! How would I pay? Besides rumor had it that it would cost $70 to get me home. Yikes!
4. Sleep at the airport and have my wife bring my wallet. I thought that would be good punishment.
5. Wife come get me and my son miss his soccer game. That would not work because I was the one who insisted he play in his game.
6. Take my friends truck and go get my wallet. Are you kidding ask him to drive his new truck. Besides I already told him to go board and tell the others my fate.
7. Call a friend! I did this and had a great friend ready to come pick me up. I felt so guilty, but you know you have a great friend if they are willing to sacrifice their day to come rescue you from the airport.
8. Finally my brother-in-law offered to come get me. I called my friend back and cancelled her generous offer.

Here is the really cool part. I get picked up from the airport in a beautiful blue Porsche. He took me to the soccer game where I got to watch our team play. It was cool because we only had three players. I am so glad our son made it. They had fun! We then went out for dinner. Least we could do was buy my wife’s brother dinner. We also had my wife’s mom and grand mother with us. The check came for dinner and abuelita grabbed the check. We insisted that we pay. She finally gave us the check. What we did not realize was as she passed the plastic thingy to us she had slipped the bill out. She is a very sneaky lady, but clearly wise. I would have offered to pay, but NO WALLET!

Next my wife wanted me to fill up the van. Ok! May I have your credit card! Again, I had no wallet. At this point I am thinking new should have microchips implanted in our thumbs or something that could be used as ID and perhaps even a credit card. My brother-in-law clearly pointed out that then people would chop off your thumb to steal your identity. Ok! That is a sick thought, but probably true.

Now the challenge was to get to the airport on time. I set two alarms. I woke up every hour almost on the hour. I woke up at 2:15 AM. I decided to shower and shave and head to the airport. I stopped and got a coffee at 7-11. Thank heaven for 7-11! Oh hopefully I turned off both alarms. I made it to the airport with little traffic. I get inside the airport at about 3:45 AM. Of course most everything is closed. I realized I still did not have my boarding pass. The kiosk was not open yet. I drank my coffee and watched a cool episode of The Highwayman. I finally got my boarding pass around 4:30 AM. I go through security. Well as luck would have it I am selected for the extra search. I am a suspicious character. I guess claiming to have forgotten my ID and changing my flight put me high on the profile list. The initial screener did not see that I had been selected for the special treatment. I am sure she got in trouble for not issuing me the orange ticket.

Here are a couple of times.

Empty your pockets
Place your computer in a separate tray from your computer bag
Taking off your shoes is option (wear flip flops!)
Do not over pack your bag – security does not know how to fold!
take your own coffee at 4:00 AM because there is nothing open!

Here I set using airport power to recharge the battery on my laptop. Perhaps I will continue this adventure on the plane. Throughout this entire ordeal I keep convincing myself that this is the way the good Lord intended it to be. I will miss some of the training this morning and I am sure I will be subjected to tons of ridicule. The adventure is just beginning because I will need to arrive safely. Catch a cab to the hotel! Catch a cab to the office. Find a way to obtain a security badge. Find my way to a class in progress I am sure. Perhaps I will make it just in time for lunch and no one will notice I had not been there all morning. Not!

Ciao for now! 5:15 AM